Bejeweled

I was going to title this "Bedazzled", but I thought of that cheap rhinestone/stud machine that can you order from television and thought "um, no I don't think so!" ... so bejeweled it is.
I have had numerous comments on the latest addition to my person, so I figured I would share my reasoning behind it.
Two weeks ago today, for my 32nd birthday, I got my nose pierced. (By the way, I am aging like a fine wine! I just keep getting better!!) Can you believe it? Me! My mom thinks that I have hit a mid-life crisis much too early in my life... but it has been something that I have actually been praying about for nearly 6 months.
So let me share with you how I got to the place of actually becoming "bejeweled."
As many of you know, I have been overweight my entire life. In January, I underwent gastric bypass surgery. That was an ENORMOUS decision for me and it was probably one of the best things that I have ever done. I felt the Lord leading me every step of the way. It was time to let go of the mask and covering that I had been carrying as a form of protection. It is amazing to think that in an attempt to become invisible, you actually keep piling on the layers! I was dying inside (emotionally) and wanted so desperately to be seen and to be found. Thankfully, that is exactly what happened! As I got to the end of myself, I found the Lord waiting there patiently with a huge smile on His face! Jesus was in there the entire time with me.. and now He was there, taking my hand and walking me out of the darkness I had so willingly placed myself in.
Since the surgery, I have lost about 104 pounds (depending on the time of day and the direction the wind is blowing lol). I am smaller now that I was when I started high school. Physically, I feel amazing! I can run and play and jump with my boys and I have more energy than I know what to do with. I am even beginning to start to think that I am kinda cute! (wowzers penny!)
The further I walk away from my old self, the further I walk towards who I originally was meant to be. I love the expression, "Who I am meant to be, I am now becoming." That is smack dab where I am! Emotionally ~ now that is another story. I was not prepared for the roller coaster of emotions I would face on this journey. Yes, the loss of food as a comfort and eating in general... we all go through that. But it is something much more complicated than that. As the weight melted away, I was what was left. The real me. The person I believed was not good enough and never would be. I was full of shame and regret, insecure and self conscious. I was running so fast and doing all of these things all of the time to prove to myself and everyone around me that I was enough and I was worthy of love and acceptance.
Then it happened! I had an encounter with my Lord. "Be still and know that I am God!" I was asked, by Him, to lay down most of what I was doing and trying to find my fulfillment in, and was dared to find what I truly needed in Him alone. What?!? I don't have to "do", I just have to "be"? What does that mean? Yet the answer still came, "BE still and KNOW that I am God." Do you have any idea how difficult that was for me? Stepping down and backing out of my commitments was difficult, but something I had to do in order to be obedient. I was learning who I was in Christ, not who I was in Cherise.
I threw myself into the Word and I began to notice a theme. When Isaac's servant found Rebekah, he layed precious jewels upon her and pierced her nose as a sign that she was his. In Ezekiel, when the prince found the baby in the field, he took her and raised her in his palace. When she was of age, he showered her with his love and she returned her love in return. She was to become his wife and he pierced her nose to show that she was his. She was set apart and became beautiful in order to be his bride. An outward sign of an eternal covenant of love.
I began to ponder these stories and the Lord asked me if I was truly His. My answer was of course, yes! His response ~ "You are called and set apart, you are on your way to a new direction and a new level of covenant with Me. You are not your own, you are bought with a price. I have set you free.... free to be who I created you to be and to do what I have called you to do on the earth. Walk in that. Claim your position as my chosen daughter. Let others know that you are marked for me and that everywhere you go, you carry my blessing, favor and portion. Even without the makeup, there is My beauty on you." How on earth can I argue with that?!
There is more to it than I can even put into words.. and some of it is so personal that I cannot share it at this time. But here is what I did not expect to learn... that beauty, true beauty, costs us something and is painful.
It hurt to get my nose pierced. I bled. I gave up not being able to just wash my face and go. I gave up avoiding the questions and comments. Being marked and set apart (this is just a physical expression of an inward change) can cause pain. But ohhhh.. the rewards are so worth it! When I look at myself in the mirror, or the jewel catches my eye, it is a reminder to me that I am a princess! I am the daughter of the King! Regardless of my bed head and pajamas, or if I am dressed to go out... it is my heart that matters.
It is not Who I am... it is Whose I am. And that, my friends, has changed my life forever!!!!