My Christmas Present

Get some tissues... and if you are interested, get ready to help the boys raise more funds in 2009 to continue to change their lives forever!
I love them just the way they are, but will also continue to beckon them to move forward.
Thank you for your love and support! And by support, I mean primarily: your love, prayers, encouragement, rolled up sleeves, and communication with us.
I wish you all the happiest of holidays! I got my Christmas present early and 5 years late this very week.

My boys and I were at the mall running some errands. I promised them that if we were able to stay a team (we are SOOO about Team Fraser - Our Family Team) and follow directions to stay safe, then they would be able to go and visit Santa Claus before we left.

I wasn't sure how this was going to work out as every attempt at this or to visit the Easter Bunny at the mall has been a disaster. Screaming children - complete with alligator death rolls - me carrying one child under each arm like luggage to get them to safety - other parents shirking and making comments ranging from "they need discipline & manners" to "what is wrong with them and why are they out in public?" - and me bottling up my plethora of emotions and shifting into auto-pilot to get all three of us out of the danger zone and in a safe place emotionally and physically.

Last year we made it through the line to wait for Santa only to have one child cringe in fear and started licking his hands and covering his ears, and the other child running away from the fake snow, "jolly man", and the camera - screaming at the top of his lungs. Apparently he got some of the fake snow-fluff on his hands and it caused the meltdown. It was then that I, once again, put the idea of my boys actually going to sit on Santa's lap and whisper the secret wishes of their hearts into his ears, back on my shelf of "Things that Typical Parents get to Experience and Tend to Take for Granted."

Back to this week. The boys have really flourished and have come out of their shells. One more than the other, but still - gifts abound in my heart and life when it comes to things my children were "never supposed to do."
We finished all of our list of things to do and as promised, we headed over to see Santa. There was a family in front of us and we talked about what they were going to tell Jolly Old Saint Nick. We also talked about how we celebrate Christmas because it is Jesus' birthday and Santa loves Jesus so much that he gives presents out to all the children in order to share His love.

The other family moves on, and I take a deep breath. My 7 year old is apprehensive but walks bravely over to Mr. Claus. My 5 year old "butterfly" flitters right over and plops right next to Kris Kringle on his bench. With his brother safely in view, my oldest sits on the other side of the bench. I watched and listened as my babies (Yes, I am crying again as I am typing this) each told Santa what they were wishing for, the toys they were going to leave under the tree for him to take to other kids, and the letters and maps they created diligently over the last few weeks. There was no screaming. There was no tantrum. My boys - my "non-verbal, severely autistic, and mentally retarded" children who should be institutionalized - were doing what the line of children before them and the many children behind them do every year. After the angel who was playing Santa Claus gave them their candy canes, he looked up at me and asked me why I was crying. I told him that He gave me the best gift I could ever have asked for this year. We did something - they did something - they were NEVER supposed to or able to do. I have decided that this is a trait my boys get from me: loving proving THEM wrong!

It may seem simple and it may not mean the same to any other person on the planet as much as it means and meant to me - but my cup runneth over.

I took my mom to the same mall the next day for one of her errands and I passed by my Angel Claus. He looked at me, smiled, winked, and tipped his hat at me. He mouthed the words "Thank you for letting me do what I live for."

My family - my friends - all of my loved ones... these are the precious reasons I will keep on keeping on.

Merry Christmas - Happy Birthday Jesus - You are the Gift that keeps on Giving and I am eternally grateful.