Light, Michael, & Gratitude

It amazes me how God works. No matter how deep the pit or the darkness of the night that you are in, there is ALWAYS a small, illuminous glow somewhere in your life. You may have to be in the darkest, lowest place in your life to actually be able to see it. But it is ALWAYS there. The darker the surroundings, the blacker and bleaker the cavern, the hardest it is to see anything let alone a glimmer of light. A spark of hope. There could be dozens - if you are blessed - of people around you who are holding burning candles and are willing and waiting and wanting to share their flame with you. To help light yours when you have so very many times gave generously some of your own to them. But when it all comes down to it, you have to go to the source. The Giver and Creator of the Light. To make sure that He still has a light to share with you.

Once you have been to that dark place and pass face after face and crowd after crowd of other flame carriers and told them - sometimes without even realizing it - "No, thank you", because you *knew* you needed a fresh touch of the true Light. THAT is when everything starts to make sense. YOU made it through the cavern. YOU pursued the true light. YOU brushed the dirt and mud off of your beaten knees and uncovered your broken heart and dared to venture on again. Daring, hoping, believing that He could never leave you there. The others around you were such a source of encouragement and proof that the true Light *IS* still there and He is STILL there for you. Because you see, it wasn't you pushing you & driving you... it was Him.

Once you see that one true flicker and your heart beats anew, you look around and realize what was happening: He was walking you thru the scariest and darkest part of your life so far to let you know that He is waiting and is with you and the light at the end of the darkest of darkness, is the most beautiful and truest of all light imaginable. I could hear Him say, in the softest and most tender whisper in my ear "See what I have for you... you would never have found this without Me, your desire for Me, and your willingness to dig for more. It is just the beginning. My Darling Daughter, there is so much more. Trust me." There is a verse that says "with the washing of the water of the Word." And "I will never leave you nor forsake you." Enough said.

The most beautiful and yet the scariest words of my life. Yet still again, through it all: I will trust.
My candle is aglow again. I don't know how He orchestrates all of the events throughout the world that line up so perfectly to speak to me in one minute second to let me know that HE is the one in control - contrary to popular belief.


For those of you who don't know, life has been, well let's say rocky in my corner of the world lately. One major player has been this reopening of the wound of the loss of my baby brother. It has been 12 years and 6 months to the day. Throughout a set of circumstances that would blow anyone's mind, MY God has brought another layer of healing to a wound that I thought was barely a scar at this point. As any wound would be, it is still tender to the touch, but this time its different. Almost a release of guilt that I didn't know that I carried. I believe that was part of the giant helpings on my "very full plate." I can breathe a little bit easier through this now. I am finding flickers of the old "Reese" again. For those of you who have been there to offer support, to share your light, and just see me through the night or hold my hand as I was crying - thank you. Those words are so small yet hold so so much.

I came across a song that speaks about Michael's situation. At first, I couldn't listen to it. Now, I find comfort in it. I will share the lyrics and post a link to a version of it on youtube. PLEASE feel free to share your thoughts and opinions. For we never walk alone. And PLEASE do not walk away in the middle of your song. Every song matters, every song counts, every song is worth singing. If you do not think that anyone is or will listen, contact me. I will. Always. I sing off key too

With all my love, and a fresh & new baby light - Reese

Rascal Flatts - "Why"

You must have been in a
Place so dark
You couldn't feel the light
Reachin' for you through
That stormy cloud
Now here we are
Gathered in our little hometown
This can't be the way
You meant to draw a crowd
Oh why, that's what I keep asking
Was there anything I could've
Said or done
Oh, I had no clue you were
Masking A troubled soul,
God only knows
What went wrong and why
You would leave the stage
In the middle of a song
Now in my mind
keep you frozen
As a seventeen-year-old
Rounding third to score the
Winning run
You always played with passion
No matter what the game
When you took the stage
You'd shine just like the sun
Oh why, that's what I keep asking
Was there anything I could've
Said or done
Oh, I had no clue you were
Masking A troubled soul,
God only knows
What went wrong and why
You would leave the stage
In the middle of a song
Now the oak trees are swaying
In the early autumn breeze
A golden sun is shining on my face
Through tangled thoughts
I hear a mockingbird sing
This old world really ain't that
Bad of a place
Oh why, there's no comprehending
And who am I to try to
Judge or explain
Oh, but I do have one
Burning question
Who told you life wasn't
Worth the fight
They were wrong, they lied
Now you're gone and we cry'
Cause it's not like you to
Walk away
In the middle of a song
Your beautiful song
Your absolutely beautiful song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcbQlD7UKyY