Ms. Nonconfrontational Gets Into a Fight - The Full Story

     Sunday night, my mom and I went to Target. We were there to pick up the latest Skylanders characters that just came out for the boys for Christmas. While we were there, there was a woman with her son walking around the store near us for a majority of the time. I happened to notice that the son had a hearing aid in his ear. I am naturally very observant of these types of things because of my boys and my history of working with people with disabilities and special needs.
     Something else that I happened to notice was that the mom was repeatedly saying that she was so "Retarded" about this and that. Now, anyone that knows me well, knows that you do NOT say that word around me. To me, it is the equivalent of calling an African-American the "N" word. It is extremely rude and disrespectful. I abhor that word. I have had friends called this word and have seen them cry and be hurt by it. I have had people say this word about my boys, which caused a righteous anger and rage to rise up inside me and my mouth start to move all by itself.
     That is what happened on Sunday. How could this woman say this word when she has a child with a special need? She didn't just say it once. I could have let it go. She kept dropping it like it was raindrops on a dry land. That's when that righteous rage started to rise up inside me. I felt it coming. She was in the next aisle but I could hear her. Then she turned the corner. "What am I, retarded or something?" And I just blurted it out. I couldn't help myself or stop it. I wasn't mean or rude or disrespectful. I just calmly looked her in the face and said, "Ma'am, please don't use that word." And of course she got defensive and asked me what word. So I told her "retarded." And she walked off in a huff mumbling about why would someone have a problem with her using "r"?
     I thought that was the end of it. My blood pressure was up and I was flushed because I am not anywhere near a confrontational person. I do not like conflict and I do not like fighting. But I will say something when it is in a situation like this one. I started to pray and calm down and mom was looking at me like, "Are you ok?" And I asked her if I was wrong. She assured me that what I did was not anything too dramatic and so we just carried on. I must admit the situation lingered with me.
     About 15 minutes later, we were in another section of the store and the lady storms up to me with her son trailing behind her. She began to yell at me: "You know I am really upset with what you said to me. I am an American. I have a right to say whatever I want. Who gives you the right to tell me what to say? My grandfather fought in the war!" So I told her, "I have two sons with special needs..." Before I could say another word, she did something that rocked me to my core. She threw her child under the bus! She said. "So do I! Look at my kid! He's got a disability and I can say retarded all day long if I want to!"
     That is the part that bothered me the most. How could someone who has a child with a special need not only be so irreverent to others with disabilities, but then degrade him WHILE he is standing there?! She wouldn't listen to me or let me say another word. She was so angry with me, she stormed off rambling in her loud voice about how I infringed on her American rights and how wrong and rude I was. Everyone in the store was staring at us. I didn't know what to do. I was seriously scared. At one point in her rampage she got in my face and I thought she was going to hit me. But the worst part is how I how I felt for her son. What has she said or done to him in the past? He was taller than her so he was easily 14 or 15 years old. My heart just went out to him.
     After coming home and processing the situation and giving it much prayer and thought, I have come to the conclusion that the reason she got so angry is that she knew deep in her heart that she was wrong. She felt convicted and was angry and lashed out at me for pointing out her error. I have been praying that the Lord will turn that entire situation around for her good and that the Lord will heal her heart as well as her son's and that it will bring change and good out of it. There is a verse in Ezekiel that talks about turning a heart of stone into a heart of flesh and that is my prayer for her.
     As I said in my original FB post, I may not have been in the right with what I did, but I know what she did was absolutely wrong. She did not have the American given right to attack me the way she did. I was not vicious, rude, or nasty the way she was.
     So you may be wondering if I will say something the next time I am in that type of situation. Yep. You betcha. Someone has to stand up and say something. I have to protect those I love and those that cannot speak for themselves. The cool thing is, I know that I have back up and for that, I am truly grateful. Thank you guys! I love you!

Gratitude Challenge

I was nominated by the lovely Stephanie Farmer to do the gratitude challenge. So here goes...
Day 1 of 5:
1- I am thankful for my faith and my relationship with my savior. Without that, I would not be here.
2- I am thankful for my boys and being able to be called "Mom."
3- I am thankful for finally learning that it is about the JOURNEY not the destination.
Today I am nominating three people that have been on my journey with me for most of my life. (I am trying to pick people that I have noticed haven't done this yet.) So - Tomasita Carmona, Christine Stanley, and Framaris Williams. You lovely ladies, its your turn! Love you!

Gratitude Challenge - Day 2 of 5:
1- I am thankful for music. I couldn't listen to music for nearly 3 1/2 years and it has finally come back into my life. It soothes my spirit and soul and connects me to the universe in ways that I cannot express in words.
2- I am thankful for worship. It is extraordinary to be able to get lost in that special place where it is just you, the music, and the Lord. Where bondages and burdens are removed and you are restored and made new.
3- I am... thankful for my true friends. The ones that never walked out when my world was crashing around me. The ones that hold my hand no matter how long its been since we have talked or seen each other or how far away we are from one another. I love you and you know who you are. I am blessed to have as many as I have.
I am nominating Donna Morrison - my hand holder, Jennifer Marasciullo - my GB girlfriend, and Carrie Mowrey - my go to girl when the going gets rough in certain areas of my life that only she understands. Thank you ladies for always being there! (The only reason Stacey is not listed is because she has already done this challenge and I don't want to have to make her do this again!)

Gratitude Challenge Day 3 of 5:
1- I am thankful for all of the challenges I have had to overcome in my life. They have made me who I am.
2- I am thankful for Autism. Yes, you read that correctly. My journey has 2 AMAZINGLY incredible tour guides that touch my heart and inspire my soul. They also test my patience and exacerbate my limits. But without Autism, and the co-existing disabilities as well, I would not have been to Holland and met the wonderful people that are on thi...s journey with me. It has opened my eyes and my heart in ways I never knew were possible.
3- I am thankful for my own mental illness and recovery. The last several years have been difficult, but they are a part of me that have taught me so very much and have caused me to grow into who I am today. I have learned that I am not perfect, but I am not meant to be. And it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, because they haven't walked my journey. They have no idea the things I have been through.
And now to pass the challenge on. I choose Melissa Goodloff, Vanessa A. Soleil, and Airin Giltner. Three amazing women who have so much to give to the world.

Gratitude Challenge Day 4 of 5:
1- I am thankful for sleep, whenever it decides to find and keep me, which is rare.
2- I am thankful for restoration. In all the ways that it can happen. I am in the beginning, baby steps of it in one particular relationship now and it is scary and wonderful. And scary. Did I mention it was scary? But I am still thankful for it. However it turns out.
3- I am thankful for laughter. It definitely does a heart good like a medicine. In this crazy house, we laugh almost every day - especially with our Topher around. But my mom and I are pretty funny too.
I am nominate Romona Williams, Alicia Figueroa, and Shannon Beeman. I love you ladies!

Gratitude Challenge Day 5:
1- I am thankful for my family. It is broken, crazy, dysfunctional, peculiar, remarkable, and downright strange, and we have definitely earned our right to be that way (don't judge what you don't understand)... but they are mine and I love each and every one of them like crazy!
2- I am thankful for the relationship that I have with my ex-husband. Most people who get divorced and share children fight, bicker, squabble, and downright hate each other. ...Don't get me wrong, we have our moments, but he is now one of my closest friends, and for that I am truly grateful.
3- I am thankful for firefighters, EMT's, and paramedics. I have had the privilege and honor of knowing some tremendously amazing ones in my life. My best friend was one and he was taken from us way too soon. So in honor of him, I challenge the following people for my last official day of the challenge: Thad Diaz, Billy Westcott, and Cari Knaus. Three things to be grateful for for 5 days!